Write a play under the title: Boundary Issues.
We’re enetering the twenties, the end is in sight. Also a challenge where two page pieces are being celebrated? Yes please.
A small kitchen – There is someone rooting through the fridge, his face is obscured by the fridge door, but we can tell he is smartly dressed. He stands up, holding a bottle of milk, revealing his face is made up to look like a cat; he is Mr FLUFFY WHISKERSON II. He pours the milk into a glass and sits himself down at the table. He looks at his watch.
The front door can be heard opening and SLAMMING off stage. CHARLIE enters, he is dressed in a hoody and tracksuit, and his face is made up to look like a dog.
Fluffy: You’re late.
Charlie: I was out for a run, wasn’t I?
Charlie sits down opposite him. Fluffy has a sip of his milk.
Charlie: Didn’t want to get me a drink then?
Fluffy: They didn’t have any of your favourite water in the fridge.
Charlie: Hey that was one time! Besides it’s still water, regardless of what bowel you drink from. Oh and plus it was a joke, lighten up.
Fluffy: Yes we all loved that little performance. It was so hilarious when you dived your head down a toilet. If only it had stayed there.
Fluffy: You just blast through this house like a hurricane, without a care in the world about the level of destruction you leave behind. Both physically and mentally.
Charlie: What are you talking about Fluffy?
Fluffy: I would appreciate you refer to me by my proper name.
Fluffy stares at him.
Charlie: (Sighs) Fine. What have I done, Fluffy Whiskerson…?
Fluffy: I’m glad you’ve asked.
He reaches down and shoves a litter box on the table, inside is a dog turd and a chewed up newspaper.
What is that?
Charlie: Well if I have to tell you-
Fluffy: Do you think this is acceptable?
Charlie: Can you people even be trained?
Fluffy: What is this? Should I rub your nose in it?
Charlie: Kinky bastard!
Charlie: Well what?
Fluffy: What do you have to say for yourself?
Charlie: Look what’s the big deal? It’s just a litter box, so I littered in it.
Fluffy: (With rage) What’s the big deal? It’s my litter box, this is where I do my business? Do you see me getting all up in yours? You have a massive garden to go out and do yours – Hell you could have gone in the street and nobody would have batted an eyelid, but this…
Charlie: Oh piss off.
Fluffy: This is crossing a line, and then stepping back and literally…shitting all over it.
Charlie: Look it was raining last night-
Fluffy: -Last night?
Charlie: It was raining, I didn’t want to go out in the rain- It’s cold.
Fluffy: Are you telling me this has been there since last night? Oh God give me strength.
Charlie: What was I supposed to do? It’s cold outside, would you want me to freeze to death?
Fluffy: If this is what you’re going to do than yes.
Fluffy: I’m sorry.
Charlie: No… It’s… You’ve never liked me have you?
Fluffy: Look Fido I- (Pause) Charlie-
Charlie: Life is so easy for you isn’t it? You just lounge around being all high and mighty, thinking you’re better than everyone else. You have all the milk you can drink, all the dead mice you can eat, the privilege to use a litter box inside. You do nothing yet people will fall over themselves to love you. Me? I have to be on nonstop in order to get even a morsel of attention, I have to prove myself twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, whereas you… you don’t even have to lift a paw.
Fluffy: I’m sorry.
Charlie: You think you have it made.
He drops his head and sighs. He then walks over behind Charlie and puts hi hand on his shoulder.
I’m sorry. I thought you enjoyed being so hyper and energetic.
Charlie: It’s exhausting having to perform nonstop, having to put on a show every minute of every day in order to achieve love from someone else. No matter how great the love seems, it’s never unconditional… Not unlike you… Everyone loves you.
Fluffy sighs with guilt.
Fluffy: I… lo… I like it when you’re…you. Not when you’re putting on these charades and shows to try and get attention. I prefer it when you are… you.
Fluffy: It’s true. When it’s just us in the house and… I don’t know, you just seem… different to what you normally are. But you’re not performing or trying to please you’re… You.
Charlie: How do you know it’s not another performance?
Fluffy kneels down so he is eye level with Charlie.
Fluffy: I know…
They look into each-other’s eyes. Charlie goes to move forward but hesitates when Fluffy recoils. He brings his head back, but then Fluffy goes in and they kiss.
Suddenly Martha, an actual human enters.
Martha: What on earth is going on here?
Fluffy bolts it.
Martha: What were you doing to Mr Whiskerson?
Martha: BAD DOG!
She grabs him by the scruff of his neck and throws him out.
Out you go. It’s time you two learnt some boundaries and…
She notices the litter box on the table.
She turns to Fluffy who has retreated to the counter.
OH you dirty creature.
Martha grabs a broom.
Martha: Don’t you hiss at me! Come here, you disgusting animal.
Fluffy darts around the kitchen on all fours as Martha chases him with the broom. Charlie BANGS on the window barking at them.
Lights down – the chaos fades.
Lights up – It is night time. Charlie is staring through the window from the outside; the kitchen is a complete mess.
Fluffy enters quietly and jumps up onto the counter, he places his hand on the window and Charlie does the same from the other side.