Write a play that only you can understand, and only you can care about.


Time for some obscure shit.Some of you may figure out what’s going on based on the title and dialogue. For everyone else…enjoy the ride 😉


Play of the Game

Lights up – 1 is centre stage in a dressing gown. He yawns

1:         Right, I better get me some-

Lights down

Spotlights on to form a Giant X centre stage, with 1 right underneath it.

Oh OK. I guess I could for a couple of-

Lights down

Spotlight on 1, sitting cross legged with his eyes wide open

Couple of…hours.

He shakes his head.

No, now I really must-

A shadowy figure looms over him. It kneels down and leans over to 1

76:      Reporting for Duty?

1:         (Tranced) Reporting…For…Duty.

76 exits.

OK… just one more, then I have to

Lights down

Spotlight on 1, he is even more wide eyed than before and his mouth gaped open.

Have…to… go.

He shakes his head.

(Determined) No… Now I have to- (Looks at watch) Shit-

He gets to his feet. Another figure looms behind him.

I need to go, I need to-

M:        I’ll be watching over you.

1:         You’ll be…watching- NO! I can’t, not anymore, I need to go out and-

Another shadow looms in.

RT:     Don’t worry my friend. I am your shield.

They place their hands on 1s shoulder lovingly.

1:         Aww, you guys. I can’t leave you – NO, I need to go out. I have to-

Lights down

Spotlight on 1, he is now lying on the ground in just pants and a vest. He stares up at the ceiling.

Several smaller spotlights appear on stage, showing mobile phones lying across the floor, which one after the other start ringing, until there is a chorus of vibrating and ringing phones.

Slowly the shadows come out and stand over the phones.

I… I need to… Go. It’s been…. so long I-



JR:      Well that’s a fine how-do-ya-do!

1:         I need to leave.


76:      Not on my watch.

1:         Please


RT:     HAHAHAHA, I’m the ultimate crushing machine.

1:         I-


R:        Death comes.

1:         Please.


S:        Miss me?

1:         I never left.


RH:     Welcome to the apocalypse.

1:         Please, let me leave-



1 lays on the floor crying. 2 figures come behind him.

M:        Till Valhalla!

She pulls him up to a sitting position

T:        Don’t worry love. Cavalry’s here.

She hands him a controller and runs off giggling. All spotlights go down, apart from the one on 1, who stares out into the audience, hands on the controller and smiling inanely.

1:         Maybe…just…one…more…match.

A clock is projected behind him, which spins at about 1000x the speed of a normal clock.

A:        Welcome…to Oasis.

Spotlight fade