Warning – The following rant is my personal opinion and- no, you know what? I don’t care what anyone else thinks, this whole thing is stupid and terrifying and I, like everyone else, am within my right to rant and call out the people who made this happen, regardless of whether I am an American or not. And to all those high and mighty people on Facebook going “no point in complaining, just gotta deal with it,” and “Lol everyone on Facebook thinks they’re a politician,” you can pipe down and all, because the world has just gotten that little more terrifying, and we all have the right to be scared.

With Brexit came anger. With President Trump, came fear. You don’t have to be a genius to see which is worse.

I promised I wouldn’t drink. Seeing as how 90% of posts on this blog have all been, in one way or another, fuelled by alcohol, I thought it best that I try and continue this blog with some kind of sobriety.That was until I saw the news the other morning, and now I find myself face first into a booze ridden bathtub, where I will stay until this nightmare ends. Bring on 2017 because surely it can’t get any worse than this right…right?

Remember when everyone thought Brexit was the biggest cock up at the year and everyone laughed at us? Well whose laughing now guys…guys?

The Simpsons episode 20 season 12 krusty the clown 12x20

Now granted when it came to Brexit, I voted against it believing our country to be better off staying in the EU. However when the results were announced, whilst gutted it didn’t go how I wanted, I was able to see some glimmer of light, and gain some understanding about why people voted the way they did and I respected that.

But this?? This is something else.

Now I know Hilary had her issues, a lot of people called her corrupt or crooked. So in response we now have a clown who has built his entire campaign on contradictions and bear faced lies, is a xenophobe, an islamaphobe, came up with the stupid idea to build a wall to keep out Mexican immigrants who he has called bad hombres, rapists & drug dealers, he has threatened to enforce a country-wide ban on all Muslims (and banning a group of people based on their religion should really have set off some warning signs to voters), has mocked the disabled, encouraged violence at his rallies, insinuated that his followers in support of the second amendment they should shoot Hilary Clinton if she won, ran a racially charged campaign against Barack Obama regarding his birth certificate, claimed a judge was biased because his parents were Mexican, told terminally ill patients not to die before election day so they could vote for him, attacked the parents of a dead soldier, has been endorsed by the Klu Klux Klan, has claimed global warming to be a hoax that China created, bragged about being a sexual predator, condoned acts of sexual assault by stating that fame gives him the right to grab women “by the pussy“, is accused of 12 counts of sexual assault, his defence against some of the sexual assault allegations were that they weren’t attractive enough, was accused of raping a woman when she was 13, has said women should be punished for having abortions, has bragged about not paying tax, has refused to release his tax returns, has claimed bankruptcy six times, managed to lose nearly a billion dollars in a year, ran a fake University, and oh yeah this President-Elect will be in court later this month as students from his phony University are taking him to court for fraud. Did I mention he is barely qualified and has little to no Political experience? Do I even need to mention it after all that? Also lets not forget his running mate Mike Pence who advocated gay conversion therapy and also- wait what the hell is going on?

I can’t be bothered to add to this already extensive list of reasons why this shouldn’t have happened. I mean… Are you serious? Seriously? This is the man America has voted in as President??? Donald Trump? Really? Are we sure this isn’t going to end with Alec Baldwin turning to camera and shouting “Live from New York, its Saturday Night,” does this not end with the words “Written by Charlie Brooker?”

Least Alec will have a steady income for the next 4 years.

How, how the hell have we gotten to this? And before all you Clinton bashers get ready to slam your “Nasty Woman” comments on your bile infested keyboards, unless your arguments are somehow worse than ‘fraud’ ‘blah’ and ‘condoning sexual assault’ then you shut the fuck up because your argument is invalid! This doesn’t paint a good image of the world we live in, when a woman goes for a job, with 30 years of experience under her belt, yet loses in favour of some dumb, rich, old white guy with no experience for the current job, and who has shown inadequacy in his current one. I mean, he has no experience. Trump is unqualified dangerously unqualified, in fact he’s not even that, he’s just dangerous. referring you back to my list a few paragraphs up, it is truly terrifying that a man with those views and morals is in charge of one of the most powerful countries in the world. I have seen headlines posing questions such as: Will Trump Destory America? The fact that question is being asked  following the election result says it all really.

It baffles me, truly it baffles me. Whats worse is looking at the tally of votes cast, because if you look at the numbers HILARY HAS MORE VOTES. So the people voted for Hilary, but the system elected Trump? Any Trump voters see the irony in that? However if Trump and Clinton were the race horses, then the Third Party Candidates were the Donkeys you ride on Brighton Beach.

What is the point in voting for a third party candidate in an election like this? They’re not going to win, they have less than a chance. These are votes that could have been used to help prevent a Trump Presidencey, however they have instead helped aide him to weave in with his ickle baby hands. Also, as for the 46.9% of voters who didn’t bother to vote, I have some harsh words for you bunch of….Eugh what’s the point? It won’t change anything. This is it. This is real life, this is our reality. It’s real. This is real, and like the Boogyman or Brexit, we were scared, but no one believed it would actually fade into our reality. Well here it is. BOOGYMANS COMIN TO GET YA WITH HIS WORMY FINGERS PETRUDING FROM HIS INFANTILE HANDS!!!

Some extra nightmare fuel for the next four years

And breath

Now some of you may be thinking “Calm down,” or “Who cares what you think?” or ‘You’re British, shut up!” or “You don’t know what you’re talking about,” and you know what? All valid points. Who cares what I think? Who am I to throw judgement? I am but a privileged, loud mouthed white male, with little-to-no Political experience whatsoever…

Just like Donald Trump.


Send help, the laughter’s not working anymore…

– Dave

Apologies for the political divergence in these otherwise lighthearted and friendly alcohol fuelled blogs. Don’t worry, it’s Christmas soon, so let us eat, drink and be merry, for tomorrow we die (as the apocalypse is surely just around the corner…).